Quotes from the Movie Down to Earth

I had a hard enough time trying to get this girl as a rich white man. Do you know how hard it's going to be to try to get her as a broke black man?

Lance

My father's so cheap... that when we went to bed, he'd unplug the alarm clocks. "You can't tell time when you are asleep."

Lance

You killed me! You killed me! You killed me!

Lance

Tiger Woods, Y'all, Tiger Woods, Y'all! Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods, Y'all!

Lance

Shut up before I crush you with my wallet!

Lance

From now on, we need to make a new slogan. If you get shot in the head, you get a bed. If you head is bloody, we're your buddy.

Lance

Didn't your momma ever tell you to carry an extra handcuff key?

Lance

Look, I don't have a problem with Sontee. I want to ask her on a date.

Lance

Don't "Oh, Charles" me! You were going to have sex on the pool table! You got an 8 ball in your ass!

Lance

We're going in there. If you can walk, let's walk. If you can't walk, it's time to roll. If you have crutches, then crutch your ass in there!

Lance

First, you make Frank Sinatra wait for a table...

Mr. King

HE'S FRANK SINATA! HE CAN WEAR WHATEVER HE WANTS!

Mr. King